Today: Thursday. March 6th

One More Verse
T.J. Phoenix

I distract my mind
with the plausibility of this
another day keeps turning round
and I’m already spent

I just can’t seem to find
the justifications
I use to know
silver threads of possible intention
which kept me believing
passing beneath the veil of night
and I wonder why
I’m not crying

How can it be
how can it be
that this is such as these
am I reduced to autumn hues
whispered into
encroaching winter

The world is wild and crazy
filled with a distracted dis-ease
and I can no longer hide
behind the frailty of
these dreams

why am I getting up?
what am I fighting for
until a day
rendered up to sleep
I return no more

Am I a stranded fool
a dissentient heart
a willing pawn
a mindless tool

I don’t know
I don’t know
what it is
and how can it be
that meaning matters at all…

 

 

 

Some Words

 

I keep looking for a way out of here
some pathway
some road
some mental slight of hand
that might give
some answer
that I lack…

Still, I once thought that answers
were where it was at
I thought answers
could free
some new way
to open up walls
deep in the middle of things
at that place
where you think
noone and nothing can pass

My life is cluttered
with answers and good intentions
and I know better
or maybe I should
but the truth in these things
is that if I did

I would learn to shut up

and I haven’t
not even really slowed down
I want there to be
a reason strong enough

strong enough to release me
from being the most cleaver
one in the room
or maybe just tired
of inciting riots
when  no ones home

The grasp is thin
while the reach eclipses
and I’m still playing with sand
on abandoned beaches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ALMOST THERE
t.j.phoenix

I pick up this guitar
and breathe into it slow
The tremble in my hands
telling an earnest tale

I hope I live
to be good enough to play
I hope I live
to be good enough to play…

Free will ran
wild child, through the heart of me
singing of worlds you’d never dream
and oh no one seemed to notice
and oh, no one seemed to know.

Still I woke up
still I woke up
believing
so I woke up
singing this song to you.

Were you restless, half awake
and pursuing
what someone else convinced you
was true
or was it some bright shining light
that you chased
to know the warmth it would bring …

I pick up this guitar
and breath into it slow
the tremble in my hands
telling an earnest tale
of maidenhoods spent waiting
dreaming in the dust
of busy streets
where no one seemed to see
all those dreams
reaching out their earnest desire
for just someone
to feel the warmth
and see the fire.

 

 

*

 

Racing into a new day
the sun
kissing dewy early morning air
the first to caress
radiance from where
life sings the first chorus
dancing with her skirt
hiked above her knees
she’s going to splash
through the rain
and shatter
his illusions

 

 

 

*

 

I will see the end of this

the truth in things

the surrendering of time

into stillness

 

It is not for measuring

or owning

or possessing

 

just an attempt

at comprehension

one of many

that sang

in the early morning hours . 

 

 

 

*

Morning Sun (2.27.8)

Sometimes I wake up

and the sun is there

it's deceptive

the warmth

the quiet unbroken landscape

of possibility

and the measure

of things ungraspable

 

I know the cold and dark is there

living in peoples hearts:

the things they do and say

everyone of us

makes a challenge for the day

 

I want the sun to stay

I want the birds to sing

I want the children to play

I want war to not exsist

and for there things to be

as radiantly present

as the beauty of this day.

 

Do not sweep this away lightly

it is all I have

to hold on to.